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Never enough
It`s a common occurrence that adolescents compare themselves to the more popular successful peers and think if there is anything wrong with them or why they are not able to do the same thing or be better. But, they, already, need to do so much: help their parents and siblings, pass exams, hang out with friends, choose a profession, study, attend extra lessons/clubs, work part time. In addition to that, teenagers go through mood swings, puberty, self-understanding and self-acceptance.
“All doors are open to you, you have so much opportunities, the whole internet is at your service, our generation didn’t have even a third of what you have”.
Adults do not encourage their children by saying that and might not even realize how much pressure they put on not yet fully formed young people. Why achieving “successful success” at the age of 16-17 is becoming a target for adolescents? Every kid deserves a stable, healthy, happy childhood without hard labor, early adulthood or a feeling of guilt because of not making thousands of dollars.
If it is hard to believe in it, so there is an evidence. On a social question-and-answer website – ‘Quora’, on May 7th, 2017, presumably, a 16-year-old teen wrote: “Is 16 years old too late to become successful in life?”. This kind of question is a consequence of normalization of children, who are in the media, film, music, fashion, cinema industries, work 24/7 both with and without their consent, becoming world popular and earning an enormous amount of money.
Kids, aged 13 and older, who simply wanted to dance tiktok trends and funny videos, for example, might be drawn into the world of show business from the age of 13 by their parents. Undoubtedly, young influencers themselves may want to be singers, artists, actors, but the main problem is the way its shown in social medias. Skakova Kamilla2An attractive bright picture of a rising star with millions of views on their YouTube channel, with a talk show, a music album and a clothing brand. However, those successful children rarely talk about how scheduled their routine is, usual child activities they had to give up, how much amount of effort, they have put in all of these projects, not every adult can handle. It’s an absolutely common thing for anyone to compare yourself to others. It’s a key to development and healthy competition. Nevertheless, each person has his own time, history, victories and fails. Success doesn’t have an age.What mostly concerns almost every high school student is applying to university. Since 13-15 years old young adults start thinking about university and asking parents for advice. Some of them say: “Begin your college preparation now”. Others say: “Study well, read more and don`t skip school”. Obviously, they are trying to help, but a lot of parents don’t know the modern admission system or care about it as much as their children do. It`s mostly not their fault, it`s a different generation. However, it would be nice of them to do a research with their kids and support them during these stressful high school years.
Moreover, some of the parents consciously or not, press their children with questions: “So, how many exam samples have you done?”, “Why are you tired, you haven’t even tidied your room?”, “It`s only one year left, you better focus on your application and study harder”.
Interested in their admission to university teenagers, who are already worried about their future and lack of time, don’t need a reminder, they need confidence that their closest people will be supportive and caring whatever happens. Of course, every case is individual, there are also young people, who are not intended to go to college at all, simply having another plan for their future.
Another problem is family responsibilities. Again, there are a lot of different real-life scenarios. High school students face lack of time every day. They want to have time for everything and be on time everywhere. Obviously, due to preparation for exams, part time jobs, extracurricular activities, it’s important to cross out less important, though more enjoyable ones. Joining to volunteer organizations, debate clubs, group projects, that are necessary for your application is the easiest part, the hardest one is attending to every meeting and dedicate yourself to it to get the result.
Less free time, but more studying. Less hangouts with friends, but more debate, volunteer experience. It`s sometimes quiet exhausting for adolescents. They may burn out if they won`t have balance.
Some of the teenagers try to regularly tidy their room, cook, wash the dishes, but others – don’t. But both may get punishments from their parents, first ones – for not doing it properly or on time, second ones – for not doing it at all. There is a diversity of opinions. 1) If you sincerely want to be on time wherever you want – you will. 2) Plan your day, so it’s easier to get all things done, meeting the deadlines. And so on. In the evenings, there are homework and housework, that are needed to be done today, not tomorrow. Tiredness and sleepiness make the situation even worse when a teenager after a busy day has to do the tasks he is not interested in. That’s the time when mental breakdown might come and get all motivation away.
In addition, there might be an anxiety caused by stress, worries and a big amount of responsibilities and activities young adults have. Some of them are more enjoyable/preferable than the others, though it doesn`t matter when young person is not sure if it`s the useful thing to do for his application or his future in general.
For example, 16-year-old Kiri enjoys playing guitar more than anything else, but she has much less time than she did when she was younger and she questions the need of freeing it up. It`s not simple to decide, but most of the times, activities, that inspire and feel people with energy, help them to go through the hardest periods of their lives. Kiri`s stress reliever is guitar; she continues playing it every evening to unwind herself.
Another cause of anxiety is forgetting how to rest. Especially, mentally rest – hang out with family and friends, do sport, meditate. These activities calm people down and relax them. But, Kiri keeps thinking that everyone is ahead of her, that she`s wasting time, not doing something that helps her achieve the goal. Kiri`s situation might get worse if she doesn’t end her struggles by understanding that rest without thoughts of work, study is also a skill, that is needed to be developed.
Finding a balance between study and rest is necessary during the last high school years. Kiri is quiet close to eat herself up with all of the concerns and pressure she puts on herself. Motivation is not constant pushing yourself to the limit. It would be amazing if Kiri tried to enjoy her senior years at school. Obviously, they can`t be relived later.
It`s highly important to mention procrastination. When people fail, they may lose their inspiration and think that they are total failures. They are drowning in pessimistic thoughts that cause it, scrolling Instagram, tiktok, putting all tasks off. It`s important to realize that person`s brain doesn`t relax that way, and he should stop scrolling. To get cheap dopamine and get distracted, brain keeps consuming and consuming information more and more too fast. It`s much more efficient to have mental vacations such as meditation, doing sport, cleaning, hanging out with friends and family, singing, dancing, reading, playing on instruments.
A lot of adolescents want their parents to be proud of them. They want to be able to give expensive gifts to relatives and siblings in future. They wish to achieve and develop, to be strong and hardy. It’s important for young ladies and gentlemen to express their gratefulness for everything that their families have done for them.
Time – teens` tricky friend. At 9-10th grade it seems you have plenty of it to have an outstanding profile. The older you get – the stronger is the feeling of time slipping away from you. Everything becomes complicated and seems to fall at your shoulders at once. Prioritization of hobbies, planning your free time, pressure that is put by you or your parents, long list of fears and activities you want and need to do. Young adults may not be sure if they are doing enough for their family, friends, hobbies, pets, college application. However, it`s only a beginning of an exciting story they have already begun to write.
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