Back straightening, discipline and the end of my 8 yearlong dance career

“Wow, mum, this dancer has got ribbons tied over her hands! Her movements are so beautiful! I want to dance like that, too” – what I told my mother when I was 4 while watching a clip on a “From Moscow to New York” song. Since then dancing has become my hobby, my passion and an escape from an anxiety and negativity. In this essay, I am craving to share stories about my biggest mistake, gained experience, international competition in Bulgaria and discuss the end of my dancer career.

 

My dancing ensemble was called “Nauryz”, in honor of Spring Equinox Festival. It gave me everything: a base of traditional, modern, contemporary dances, acquaintances, confidence, travels, contests, Grand Prixes and an enormous amount of memories.

I would like to begin with description of my first dance. Back in 2013, we have been given a choreography named “Sunny Day” on our first competition. It told a story of kids waking up and cheering the warm summer day. I remember I thought I would make a mock of myself in front of the judges, not being able to do a split, therefore, I kept stretching into it everywhere: on the couch, on the bed, under the table and, eventually, learnt it somehow. At that period of time, I have realized that whether I am hungry, ill, exhausted or injured, under any circumstance I cannot let my team down.

There were dozens of events and competitions we have attended, but the one I remember too clearly to forget is the one I terribly failed.  We were performing the first contemporary dance that our coach choreographed. Since I was one of the first attendees of ‘Nauryz’ from its early formation, I have often been placed in the front row. Obviously, the first line dancers bear a greater responsibility, they are the most visible and back rows adjust their movements according to them.

At the start of the dance, when my group and I were supposed to turn on the 10th step, I turned on the 8th step for some unknown reason, causing the girl behind me to lose her rhythm as well. I single-handedly messed the entire opening that day, which is one of the most well-known dances of “Nauryz” ensemble nowadays, called “Path to The Light”. In addition, the reprimand I got behind the scene afterwards surely became a notable memory.

Talking about acquired qualities, stamina and discipline, I am used to having, are the result of regular trainings during school and summer breaks. Despite potentially busy study weeks, there were no excuses for being late to 8 a.m. Sunday training sessions, held three hours before competitions, even when I hardly tempted to sleep a little longer.

It is time to touch upon an international competition named “Roses of Obzor”, which took place in Summer 2018 and combined multiple opportunities for me: first time travelling to abroad; a trip with my friends and mother; meet up with the strongest ensembles of Commonwealth of Independent States; sea vacation. I confidently declare that I have grown within those 2 weeks of the contest, being put in stressful situations in a foreign country.

At the end of the second week, each ensemble had to choose two dancers to represent it in the competition for the title of “Miss and Mister Rose of Obzor”. The mister was chosen automatically since an 8-year-old boy was the only male participant of “Nauryz”. Our coach nominated my candidacy for the Miss, because we visually suited one another. I was too afraid, therefore I refused to participate, but my mother convinced me that it was a brave way of becoming confident in myself.

I had a bright makeup, my hair was styled with kanekalon braids and I wore a mermaid tail, which was purchased on the nearest market. Although, I assume that we looked hilarious – 2 kids trying to impress judges with a little mermaid and a tiny knight.

Nonetheless, we have won the “Audience award” and were quiet satisfied with it. Brian Tracy`s quote fits the situation perfectly: “You can only grow if you’re willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.”

A year after we moved to another side of the city, it became difficult for me to keep on being a participant of ‘Nauryz’ school, which was located near my previous flat. However, I continued going there until the Covid-19 pandemic began, leading the longest break from dancing in my life. Presumably, during that period all performing people missed the scene, their studios, their groupmates, the whole process of art creation, so did I.

Eventually, 10 months later, I signed up for a lesson at the closest dance hall. It was an infinite pleasure to let my energy come out and to start developing in contemporary style with extremely friendly people. From February 2021 until January 2022, my second coach and her studio`s participants became very meaningful for me. We have had a photo session at the Botanic Park of Astana, a performance in a private art club and most importantly, we have won second place at “New Format Award”, held in a suburban area called “Burabai”, where we spent 4 adventurous days

and met the star of my childhood, a winner of eighth season of “So You Think You Can Dance in Ukraine” and the judge of that competition – Ildar Young-Gaynutdinov! Undoubtedly, one of the brightest highlights of my career.

It was indeed a lifelong journey, but I had to end my mini dancer career due to several reasons: incorrect position of kidneys, closely located capillaries, scoliosis, frequent colds at that time which made attending classes troublesome, and to top it off, the closure of the dance branch I attended. Currently, scoliosis is no longer a problem, because I got my back straightened by an osteopath shortly after 2021`s New Year.

Summing up, I feel an endless gratitude to my coaches, who have put a huge amount of efforts of both their soul and body to teach me not only dancing, but performing. It became my therapy and my safe place. I continue dancing regularly at home, while performing songs, at the cafes and celebrations. “Dance first. Think later. It’s the natural order.” —Samuel Beckett.